Sails in the wind
by Miss Momolo
Summary: This is a fanfiction dedicated to Neji, like memorial... "Tenten," said a voice that brought an ache to her chest, and she wasn't that sure why she wanted to cry. "Neji," even saying his name was a difficulty. But she begged her neck to move to his direction even though her brain objected because it somehow knew that seeing him was going to be worse than hearing his name.


**Declaimer: I do not own Naruto or their characters. While I was writing this I have to admit I was a bit emotional. I will always love Neji and will always be a Nejiten! **

It sounded like sails in the wind, blowing tirelessly. She heard a sea bird whistle long and loud. Her eyes slowly opened, fluttering. At first she was confused but as she saw herself resting on a bed covered in white inside a large round type of room sporting the same color she felt she'd been there before. In fact everything was white and familiar. The walls, the tiles, the silk curtains that opened to a balcony to the outside to what appeared to be the sea and the air. Despite that there weren't any other doors. There weren't pictures either or others things indicating to what person this place belong to. But she was sure she had met its acquaintance.

After a while she found the will to move her limbs when the fear of being disrupt passed. She forced herself to step to the balcony where the strangest place her eyes could ever embark met her. She was standing at the top of what appeared to be a tower, situated at the center of the sea, the waves never shaking the strong structure. Sea birds went several times in her direction, flying in circle as if trying to figure out how she fitted in the frame. She was wondering the same thing. The clouds were like small houses in the sky, landscaping the horizon in their presence. The only thing she couldn't find was the sun.

"Tenten," said a voice that brought an ache to her chest, and she wasn't that sure why she wanted to cry.

"Neji," even saying his name was a difficulty. But she begged her neck to move to his direction even though her brain objected because it somehow knew that seeing him was going to be worse than hearing his name.

Angel. That was the first thing that she could register. Maybe because he looked just like one as he stepped away from the white curtains that as he left behind appeared like faded wings. How did he get there? she thought. He wasn't there a moment ago, she was sure.

"What are you doing here?"

He looked beautiful. More than she remembered and to her it seemed that every second that her eyes stayed strained to him he grew even more. His hair wasn't in its ties, loose as it ran whichever direction the wind proposed. His usual wasn't the usual, as if by color chronological order he was force to use white, pants and long sleeve shirt. And despite the fact that he wasn't wearing any shoes the only place her eyes stayed longer was his forehead. It wasn't covered, it was bare.

"The mark. Where's the mark?" she asked as she limited the distance, almost reaching the place that brought her so much confusion. But she hesitated.

"It's gone," he answered as he grabbed her hand and dared what she didn't dare to.

She never touched his face before, well, his forehead and she searched in her head for an agonizing second why she hadn't done it before. It can possibly be the one thing the regretted the most. Regret? Why would she regret? You can only regret if….

Tenten fidgeted with her hands, pulling it away and hiding them inside each other as if she'd burned them. If she didn't know better she'd say they tingled with the same sensation after you get burn. And her eyes were watering just as if she had.

"Why?" her voice sounded wounded, one of the things she was always able keep away from him under any circumstances. She always figured it wasn't worth his trouble or hers for the matter. But now it seemed inevitable. The things she tried to hide then, maybe tiredness or hunger or hurt were inevitable now. And it seemed stupid to do it now when he is dead.

"Why what?" he asked.

She knew that he didn't know what she was talking about.

"Why did you leave without…." She had to breath, she had to clear her eyes, or was it best to blur everything, to shut anything from the exterior and say what she has to say without witnessing the outcome it will bring. What can she say? She never liked to see his beautiful face tainted with worry.  
"…saying goodbye."

For a moment it felt like the world or at least this little piece of it froze. Paused for his reply.

"It's not like I left," he said effortlessly.

It surprised both of them as she wailed, her hands falling in a sort of defeat. Why was it that she was the first to give up and he wasn't? But then, why was she?

Tenten gave a punch to his chest. Then again when under her fist she felt a heartbeat. Then again and again because she couldn't understand how that was possible. Again and again because it felt so real. Again and again because she wouldn't believe it's authentic. Again and again because she wanted to believe it.

"You did! You left! You took the easy way out!" she screamed and it took her all her energy. "You died! You're dead! How could you? The Neji I knew wouldn't do that. How could you do that?" hitting was tiring and crying was exhausting. She managed one more punch and one last cry before she just started to whimper. "How could you leave me?"

His arms were so real. They felt warm as they encircle her, they felt soft as they stroke her, they felt lost as they rested there, letting her burry her face his chest. He smelled so real. Like old books and new knowledge. He felt so nostalgic. Like memories and recollections from the past. He felt so sad. Like dark skies and the green grass that surrounds a grave.

"But, Tenten, I didn't. I didn't take the easy way out. Its easy living. Dying is difficult. It was out duty and responsibility. I'm still the same me. If it were in my power I would have died in your place too and knowing I would makes me know that I'm still me." He said and it was almost hard to cave in to believe him.

"But… you left…me…"

"I haven't," his words are smooth, "when you forget me then I will. But even then I wouldn't. I will always be there even if you think I'm not. Even if you don't remember."

"Why didn't you fight it?" she looked up, it was an easy question.

"You can't fight freedom," he said.

"Why aren't you fighting it now?"

It almost broke her heart to pieces as she saw his sad smile because he never smiled at her like that before. Does everything come when it's too late? When it's pointless? When there no use? If so she doesn't want to know about dead people anymore.

"I'm not," he said, "but you are."

"Well, you're dead. What do you know? You were genius and you died a moron. All that reputation for nothing."

"Not for nothing. I got to met Guy sensei and Rock Lee… and you. I think I did fairly well."

"Not good enough because you're dead."

"I'm only going to be when I no longer exist in your heart," he brushed a loose strand of hair.

There it was again, the tears. The blur, the drowning. The feeling of goodbye. The feeling of the end. "You know you will never as long as I can help it."

"So, why are you so sad?"

She looked at her hands as she wrapped them around his neck pressing, begging her brain for more moments, for more peace. "Cause I know I'm going to wake up and I'm going to be alone. And I don't want to be alone. I want to be with you. I want to. I want to so badly. I want you."

"I'm telling that you're not alone. I will always be with you."

"That's why they all say," she said, pressing harder once she feels it all fading to the back of her mind, slipping.

Tenten shot up in her bed, feeling hard pulses of what's left of the same old dream in her head. And yet it's so real it can never be a dream. It will never be a dream to her. It will always be him and nothing else. And she could still feel his presence within her, still feel his arms, his words as she wipes her damp face, "Well, I mean it too."


End file.
